The Waiting

In all of my poking around online I recently found a saying that really touched my heart. 


Faith in God includes faith in His timing.


For the past nearly 3 years I've been in a constant state of waiting.  Now, patience is not my strongest virtue.  In fact, I would be fairly confident to tell you that it's not in my repertoire at all.  It is a struggle for me to not take charge of a situation.  I don't know about the rest of ya'll but I tend to fully commit and then make it happen.  Once I've decided something I go for it.  So learning to be still is SOOOO hard. 

This week I've been praying that God help me be patient.  Since I don't know how to be patient on a personal level; I'm going to need an extra amount of grace.  In my quiet time with God today He showed me that even WHEN I do get pregnant (notice the positive affirmations) that the waiting will not just mysteriously vanish.  So I examined the waiting process. 

I'm waiting to get pregnant.
I will be waiting for 9 months to meet our child.
I will be waiting while in labor.
I will be waiting on SOMETHING for the rest of my life. 

Do you think God is trying to teach me something??  Just trusting God for only pregnancy is silly.  I need to learn to trust God in all aspects of my life and I need to wait on Him to show me His will for my life.  His call is for me to be patient in all things.

There is a lot of guilt and shame attached to "infertility".  For a very long time I felt like a complete and total failure as a woman.  I felt like my life was useless if I could not carry and birth a child of my own body.  In my quiet time God showed me Psalm 25:3 "Let none that wait on You be ashamed."

Here are some more scriptures that have encouraged me this week!

Psalm 40:1  "I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry."

Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word do I hope." (SO TRUE)

Psalm 40:31 "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint." (this is my Mama's favorite)

Michah 7:7 "Therefore I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me."


So I've got the hint, Father God.  I need to wait but not only do I need to wait; I need to hope.  I gave up on hope a while ago and although there was always a flicker of it there every month, I was not EXPECTING it to happen. 

That's changing for me.  I am renewing my hope in God.  I am working on being patient and being still.  I am working on waiting for God and expecting Him to grant me the desires of my heart.  I am working on trusting Him to provide for all of my needs: spiritual, emotional, and physical. 

You know, the waiting doesn't seem so devestating when there is so much hope in God.  <3