Our Mountains and Our Molehills - Part 2

When we first met our OBGYN it was on a Saturday.  She called and had to cancel our appointment during the week and then called back and asked if we could come in on Saturday so she could see us.  This was our first inkling that she was an answer to prayer.  Finally we had a doctor that was truly passionate about her job and about her patients.  After our consultation she repeated several tests and found problems that had not been identified previously.  Let me also say that I had been diagnosed with PCOS after hyperstimulating on Clomid.  I was told I was too fat.  I was told that I would never be able to have children.  When I came to her I was nearly broken and my emotions were all over the place.  I didn't know what to believe.  I didn't know what to do.  During our first appointment our doctor prayed with us.  She cried with me and hugged me.  She told me that she was going to do everything she could to help us.  THAT kind of compassion and empathy boosted my spirits and my heart began to hope again. 

She diagnosed me with an-ovulation and threw out all the other diagnosis.  She started me on Letrizol in combination with HCG shots to release the eggs and progesterone to support a pregnancy.  The medication was a success in that my body actually ovulated on the medication.  Unfortunately ovulation came as incredibly painful and draining.  I was in the ER most every month with uncontrollable pain.  I thought I was going to die, but I was willing to endure ANYTHING to get pregnant.  After 8 months of gruelling physical trauma to my body and extreme emotional distress, we made the decision to take a break. 

For the past several years I had been in rehab management.  The positions I took as a manager were stressful and I often took on "project" departments that required a lot of work in order to get them functioning well and to be profitable.  As you can imagine these jobs were very stressful and exactly the opposite of what is needed for an infertile woman.  All during my fertility treatments we had quite a lot of personal sorrow as well.  We lost both of my husband's grandparents and went through quite a bit of sadness and loss.  In telling you all of this I realize looking back that where you are in life can really have a huge impact on your fertility.  During this time of struggle, sadness, and stress I was trying to force my body to do something it wasn't ready to do.  Relax??  Who does that?!  ;)

Since taking a break from all of the fertility treatments I have had a lot of time to make changes to my lifestyle.  The first step was going back to being a solely treating therapist.  No more management and no more stress (not as much anyway).  Then I started treating a whole new population with different diagnosis and I felt my passion ignite for my profession agian.  The second was we bought a home and renovated so it was comfortable for us.  We are still in process of renovating, but who isn't if you own a home, right?  :)