Dean Griff Hawthorne

I am officially a horrible blogger.  LOL!  Life has a way of getting crazy at the most unexpected times and the past few months have been exactly that!  CRAZY! 

I am officially 20 weeks and 5 days pregnant today with our miracle.....BOY!  I knew from the beginning we were having a boy.  I had many a doubter but Mama's intuition proved to be right!  Our sweet boy is due August 2 and I am conflicted between wanting to have him in my arms right this second and wanting this pregnancy to last forever. 

My first trimester I was pretty sick and lost 26lbs between being sick and not having an appetite.  And I wouldn't change one moment of it for the world!  Although, losing our second sweet miracle has been a hard challenge for my heart to overcome.  Hearing twin pregnancy announcements still brings up an overwhelming sadness in my heart.  I am so thankful for our precious Dean and the incredible miracle and blessing he is to us.  But my Mama's heart cannot help but miss my sweet angels in Heaven. 

My second trimester has been absolutely wonderful.  My appetite has returned and I have to date gained back 8 of the 26lbs lost.  Words cannot describe how amazing it has been to watch my body grow and change.  Feeling Dean move for the first time has been the BEST part of this pregnancy.  I just sat and cried tears of pure unadulterated joy for the miracle of it. 

Dean has become so incredibly active the past few days.  I have stayed awake all night the past two nights just reveling in his movements.  The sheer miracle that he is humbles me so very much.  I am so thankful to our Abba Father for blessing us with more than we deserve.

I am thankful for every moment of this journey no matter how broken I was, how many times our hearts shattered, how broken my body became, or how much suffering we endured.  All of those experiences have grown us in our faith, our marriage, and our strength of character.  Throughout this journey I have survived off so many scriptures but Romans 5:1-5 has been truly a scripture that anchors me when all else fails.

Romans 5:1-5  "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

I really want to encourage anyone who is reading my blog and who is still struggling with your infertility journey to continue to have faith.  Your journey will not be easy.  God never promised us that.  But He has promised us that there is always hope.  Please read my story and be encouraged in God's faithfulness to His children.  He is good.  Especially in the midst of your storm.  <3

Here are some bump pictures!  I wanted to remember God's faithfulness and the miracle pregnancy He has given us in a special way.  I hope you enjoy!  Be blessed!!